Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Does the interpretation of the Book of בראשית create in all generations the Chosen Cohen People יש מאין?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for traitorism

How do scammers communicate? Do they have a specific language or slang?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Family scapegoats with years of healing: what events or thoughts precipitated your full acceptance of your family's narcissistic dynamic? Can you share your inner thoughts as you reached it? How do we know when we have reached full acceptance?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

What does it mean if I had a dream about my mom who passed 12 years ago waking up from her coma and asking for my dad? I have never had a dreams about her since she has been gone.

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Beautiful European women were killed by inquisition but Russia was not Catholic. Is this the reason for a drastic difference explaining why Russian women are the prettiest?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

How would you feel if your girlfriend had dick pics on her phone?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

How can I be okay with being ugly? What is the bright side?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Do you wear tights for warmth or to make your legs look better?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Do you think that drug addiction is a symptom of larger societal ills? What is it about our culture that leaves so many feeling like they're inadequate, trying any ill to find a cure?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

How can we become the best humans? How can we trust each other?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I see through liars

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can count

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can read